Saturday, October 4, 2008

At Goal, -150 pounds, looking back

This is my first foray into the BLOGGING world. Many of my dear friends have suggested I share my story in blog form. As of 10/01/2008 I made my goal weight with Weight Watchers. I'm still a woman so I'm not about to tell ANYONE what I currently weigh. BUT, when I weighed in on Wednesday night at my Weight Watchers meeting, I hit my target weight. What that means to me is I am 150 pounds lighter than when I started the Weight Watcher program.

I can share my excitement and the story. But, the tender feelings that come with finally achieving what many people told me would never happen, are mine to keep.

I remember the day I joined Weight Watchers. It was the week after my 25th birthday. I realized that I was not happy and the full life I was meant to live was a reality that I could not consider. For my 25th birthday I decided to give myself two presents.

1. I needed to tell the boy I had a crush on that I liked him. Not because I was hoping he would realize I was the catch he never considered, but because I needed to move on.

2. I had to start losing weight. I was scared that I would die very young and that I would end up in a plus size casket. That's one plus size shopping trip I could not make.

So...I did both. I told the boy I thought the world of him...that story is meant for another blog because I think it's HILARIOUS. As I expected, he didn't feel the same. But I remember CLEARLY stepping onto the scale for the first time. I spoke to my doctor about weight loss (I kinda was hoping he would tell me about some magic pill), he suggested that I look into Weight Watchers because it was a healthy program. I was excited and nervous as I waited to be weighed in. Sincerely, my heart stopped when I saw the numbers over 300 lbs. I wanted to cry...I wanted to close my eyes and leave my over sized body. Unfortunately, when I realized how heavy I was and how BIG of a journey this was going to be, I got sick. I was going to take a true "before" picture. But I was so embarrassed and I could not ask someone to take that picture. I regret that now.

ANYWAY....that was just over three years ago. The experience I had at weigh in this week was monumentally different. When I woke up on Wednesday I got on my home scale. And I was shocked to see I was actually at goal. I got off and on about 20 times because I couldn't believe it. That morning I called Heidi my WW leader and asked her to call Alan. He is a lifetime member in my class and usually does not come the first week. He made me promise NEVER to make goal the first week of the month. I told Heidi that I think I was going to be at goal and that I needed her to call Alan and tell him to come. My other inspiration Shannon wasn't going to come either, but I BEGGED her. I could not have made my goal weight without their sincere support.

I was SO nervous ALL DAY LONG. I was so worried I was wrong and that I wasn't going to hit goal weight at my meeting. The last hour of work was the longest hour of my life. I FINALLY made it to my meeting. Heidi saw me come in and we both smiled...You know that smile...where you share an inside joke with someone. So I got in line and by cheerleading crew surrounded the scale to see me hit goal.

I stepped on...and BLASTED SCALE said I was .6 from goal. Oh this was not acceptable. So, I went out to my car...grabbed a lighter skirt and snuck into the bathroom and changed skirts. I also thought taking off my bra and tights were for good measure. I got back on the dumb scale. .2 away. I cannot really share how I did it...because it's kind of embarrassing, all you need to know is that after my strip tease, I hit it on the button. YAY!!!!!!!!!

Heidi screamed, I laughed and screamed. Heidi went to hug me but I told her not to...the skirt's zipper was broken, I had no bra, and I was FRIGHTENED that the world was going to see more of Marie than was legally acceptable! She hugged me anyway.

Seriously...I have had many great days in my life. But I am confident this was one of the most amazingly gratifying days of my life. I will never forget October 1st. This is the day I became. I became the woman that sets and achieves her goals. The woman who knows how to handle obstacles. The woman who has decided to stop letting the past hold her future captive. I became the woman who inspired others. I became a grateful person.

I know this is a long blog. But it will hopefully set up the purpose of starting a blog nicely. As I have lost weight I have also began dating. I was so afraid of dating and had experienced a lot of rejection. So as a 28 year old, I am now beginning to figure out this dating business. I have joked with friends about writing a book. I am going to use my blogs to talk about some of my dating experiences. THEY ARE HILARIOUS!!!! I also hope to inspire through humor. I have had great opportunities and I think they need to be shared and appreciated. My book will be: Dating Chronicles of the Ex-Fat Girl. I look forward to input from friends, family, and visitors as I bring this book to life.

Hopefully at the end of the story, I will find the person that I can share my life with but if that never happens, at least I will have some hilarious stories!

I'm working on uploading pictures from before and take some after pics. We will see when I figure out this business!